Gabr's Notepad

Useful Links

Wiki Recent Changes
Questlog Missions
Relics ID: 43271

Useful Locations

• Dreamland /pos 16155, 16192, 7
• Tormented Soul NPC /pos 484, 1350, 4
• Soul Pit /pos 1162, 615, 8
• Ferumbras Seals /pos 3103, 1960, 5

Boss Coordinates

Bane

• Dracola /pos 1739, 587, 12
• Jotunn /pos 6354, 5734, 13
• Drume /pos 711, 497, 4
• Grand Master Oberon /pos 1056, 270, 6
• Obliterator /pos 5510, 5955, 13
• Minion of Devovorga /pos 5181, 5765, 9
• Library Minibosses /pos 5418, 5740, 14
• Deepling Minibosses /pos 5234, 5021, 10

Archfoe

• Timira The Many-Headed /pos 5510, 5594, 9
• Scarlett Ezel /pos 2749, 833, 5
• Morgaroth /pos 506, 1203, 7
• The Flaming Orchid /pos 3595, 1637, 9
• Urbatulhu The Combustor /pos 617, 64, 11
• Elrydan /pos 1660, 1073, 5
• Keeper of Secrets /pos 5314, 5584, 10
• Abyssal King /pos 6469, 5911, 7
• Summer Champion Belathriel /pos 1877, 1214, 12
• Winter Champion Lumithriel /pos 2105, 1064, 11
• Emperor Aredhel /pos 1984, 1108, 6
• Stone Gorgon /pos 904, 1322, 10
• Kraken /pos 957, 1374, 5
• Captain Blackbeard /pos 1492, 1250, 3
• Sugar Mommy /pos 307, 1189, 2
• Sugar Daddy /pos 147, 1206, 9
• World Devourer /pos 3243, 1825, 10
• Plagirath /pos 3544, 1790, 15
• Mazoran /pos 3369, 1674, 15
• Razzagorn /pos 3697, 1696, 14
• Ragiaz /pos 3275, 1819, 15
• Shulgrax /pos 3177, 1775, 15
• Zamulosh /pos 2983, 1694, 15

Unlisted

• Kalthyros The Tideclaw King /pos 3753, 1890, 11
• Ascending Ferumbras /pos 3103, 1960, 2
• Goshnar's Malice /pos 277, 1333, 1
• Goshnar's Cruelty /pos 496, 1642, 3
• Goshnar's Hatred /pos 717, 1387, 2
• Goshnar's Spite /pos 210, 1626, 3
• Goshnar's Greed /pos 657, 1626, 3
• Ghazbaran /pos 1814, 1385, 12

Rotten Blood

• Darklight Core Vermiath /pos 606, 2031, 3
• Gloom Pillars Ghagorz /pos 553, 2293, 6
• Jaded Roots Murcion /pos 561, 1760, 6
• Putrefactory Ichgahal /pos 254, 1970, 7
• Bakragore

SR / Zoltyum

• WBoss 1 /pos 1080, 2531, 8
• WBoss 2 /pos 1196, 2470, 8
• WBoss 3 /pos 1368, 2552, 9
• WBoss 4 /pos 1503, 2457, 8
• WBoss 5 /pos 1731, 2459, 8
• WBoss 6 /pos 1881, 2517, 8
• SR Temple Quest /pos 2168, 2128, 4
• SR Crafting Room /pos 2373, 1504, 8

Curious Rooms

• Debug Room /pos 2331, 1462, 7
• Weird 1 Entrance /pos 2294, 1924, 6
• Archlight Room /pos 2314, 1760, 7
• Weird 2 /pos 2141, 1839, 5
• Pyromaniac Scroll /pos 2479, 1849, 7
• Weird 3 /pos 2553, 2323, 5
• Zoltyum Boss Room /pos 2330, 1505, 8
• Weird 4 /pos 2236, 1600, 10
• The Bugged Room /pos 2348, 1354, 10
• Lets Ride The Tiger /pos 2247, 1331, 11
• Weird 5 /pos 2227, 1301, 11
• Sigjen City /pos 2377, 1255, 12
• Hidden Factory /pos 2271, 1387, 13
• Apocalypse Boss Room /pos 2889, 1436, 13
• Infernatil Boss Room /pos 2948, 1322, 13
• Verminor Boss Room /pos 2818, 1302, 13
• Weird 6 /pos 2221, 1250, 8
• Only a queen has a dress... /pos 3014, 1487, 11
• Demon Helmet Quest /pos 2610, 1632, 15

Uncategorized Quests

/pos 1799, 1913, 15

To Post

Knight Axe Quest - Black Knights - Aurora Sewers

Greenvile Aquarium /pos 552, 789, 7
Player: hi
Tocasis Aquarium: Be greeted, CM Gabr.
Player: mount
Tocasis Aquarium: I've fished monsters and myths alike. Want your Titanica? Prove you're not just bait. Collect these items: 150 fish fins, 100 giant   crab pincers, 250 sea serpent scales. Do you have them?
Player: yes
Tocasis Aquarium: This should lure the great one out of hiding. Use it well.

Nevada /pos 1440, 384, 7
Player: hi
Selene the Palehoof: The white deer only appears to the worthy. Are you one of them?
Player: mount
Selene the Palehoof: Legends speak of the white deer as a protector. Show you're in tune with nature. Collect these items: 50 wyrm scales, 175 hydra  heads, 250 frosty hearts. Do you have them?
Player: yes
Selene the Palehoof: Grace finds grace. Take this and find your white deer.

Unavailable

• Elf/Butterfly Outfit
  • Harry (Nevada)
    • 1 orshabaal's brain

• Zumbo
  • ?
    • 50 half-eaten brain
    • 100 pieces of dead brain
    • 1 orshabaal's brain
    • 1 morgaroth's heart
    • 5 vampire lord token

Lakeshire Captain Blood

Pool Walkthrough

Location: /pos 1988, 1374, 7

Player: hi
Captain Blood: Ahoy, Player! Ye be lookin' at what the sea spat back out. Ask about me ship if ye like a tale, or about the mission if ye like coin better.
Player: ship
Captain Blood: The Crimson Tide, she was called. Finest deck I ever stood on. A storm took her onto the reef one night and she went down with every hand aboard but me.
Captain Blood: I swam till me arms turned to rope. Kept swimmin' till the water went shallow and I crawled up onto this very sand, half drowned and spittin' salt.
Captain Blood: And here be the joke of it, friend. I looked around at this place... warm sand, no admiralty, no creditors, no gallows waitin' at the end of the voyage. And I never left. Best wreck of me life.
Captain Blood: Only one thing I regret leavin' behind out there. Ask me about the mission if ye've the stomach for it.
Player: mission
Captain Blood: There be one thing I never got back off that wreck. Me hook. Iron, salt bitten, worth nothin' to anyone but me.
Captain Blood: It's locked away in me old chest on the pirate island. I'd fetch it meself, but these bones don't swim like they used to, and the lads over there have gotten unfriendly.
Captain Blood: Will ye go and bring it back to me?
Player: yes
Captain Blood: Ha! Good. I've sent word ahead, so the door will open for ye now. Nobody will stop ye.
Captain Blood: Find me chest, take the hook out of it, and bring it straight back to me. Say hook when ye have it in hand.

Door Location: /pos 1791, 1383, 6 Reward Chest: /pos 1787, 1404, 6

Captain Blood: Ahoy, Player! Is that me hook I see in yer hands?
Player: hook
Captain Blood: Well I'll be keelhauled... there she is. Salt bitten and ugly as the day I lost her.
Captain Blood: Ye did an old wreck of a man a kindness, and Captain Blood pays his debts. Ye'll find me right here, aboard me ship at the Lakeshire dock, whenever ye want a word or another tale out of me.
Captain Blood: And them whirlpools out in the water, the ones I've kept shut all these years? Consider them yours. Step into any one of them and it'll carry ye through instead of spittin' ye back at the shore.
Captain Blood: Just don't come cryin' to me about where ye wash up. I only guard them. I never said I charted them.
Player: mission
Captain Blood: Ye already brought me hook home, friend. The whirlpools stay open to ye, and me ship stays moored right here at the Lakeshire dock

Lakeshire Aldrenn The Unbroken

NPC: /pos 1977, 1816, 7

11:00 CM Gabr [218]: hi
11:00 Aldrenn the Unbroken: You walked a long way to stand in front of a door that does not open, CM Gabr. Turn around, or ask me why it does not.
11:00 CM Gabr [218]: why
11:00 Aldrenn the Unbroken: Lakeshire is older than the kingdom that named it. Older than the maps. Older than the language you are using to talk to me. Men arrived, built on top of what was already here, and told themselves the ground was theirs.
11:00 Aldrenn the Unbroken: It was not. Something was sleeping underneath it, and it woke up hungry. Ghazbaran. I will not describe him to you. The description is the part that breaks people.
11:00 Aldrenn the Unbroken: The kingdom sent its champions. Not soldiers. Champions. The best blade, the best axe, the best spellbook, the best of every kind of power we had. Every one of them knew they were not coming back, and every one of them went in anyway.
11:01 Aldrenn the Unbroken: They could not kill him. Nothing kills him. What they could do was close the cave around him and pay for the lock with their own lives, all of them, in the same moment. That is what a great sacrifice actually is. Not a story. An accounting.
11:01 Aldrenn the Unbroken: Two of us walked back out. Two. I have stood at this door ever since, and the other one does not speak anymore. Ask me about the gate if you still want through it.
11:02 CM Gabr [218]: gate
11:02 Aldrenn the Unbroken: Behind me is the city of the minotaurs, and past the city are the parts of Lakeshire the seal was raised to keep you out of.
11:02 Aldrenn the Unbroken: I do not open this door because somebody asked politely. The men who died under it were the strongest the kingdom could find, and it still was not enough. If you cannot walk the road they walked, you will not survive the end of it.
11:02 Aldrenn the Unbroken: So I will measure you. Four of them left something behind. Bring each one back to me and I will know what you are. Are you willing to be measured?
11:03 CM Gabr [218]: yes
11:03 Aldrenn the Unbroken: Then it begins, and it does not pause because you are tired.
11:03 Aldrenn the Unbroken: Go down into the dragon caves, past the galleries where the heat stops being survivable. There is a chest at the bottom. In it is a dragon claw. Bring it to me.

Dragon Claw: /pos 1918, 2162, 9

11:08 CM Gabr [218]: hi
11:08 Aldrenn the Unbroken: You are carrying it, CM Gabr. Say dragon claw and let me see it.
11:08 CM Gabr [218]: dragon claw
11:08 Aldrenn the Unbroken: Kaldrin wore that claw on a cord around his neck. He used to say a man who has taken something off a dragon has already survived the worst day he is going to have. He was wrong about that, in the end.
11:08 Aldrenn the Unbroken: The dwarven mines, then. Not the worked levels. Keep going down until the tunnels stop looking like tunnels and start looking like wounds. There is a chest with a dwarven axe in it. Bring it to me.

Dwarven Axe: /pos 1870, 2192, 10

17:26 CM Gabr [218]: hi
17:26 Aldrenn the Unbroken: You are carrying it, CM Gabr. Say dwarven axe and let me see it.
17:26 CM Gabr [218]: dwarven axe
17:26 Aldrenn the Unbroken: Borrin swung that axe. He was not a warrior, he was a smith. He walked into that cave holding the only tool he knew how to hold, because nobody else was going to.
17:26 Aldrenn the Unbroken: The hall of the ancient heroes. Understand what you are walking into: the realm conquerors got inside, corrupted, and every one of the old heroes died in his own hall. Nothing down there was ever buried. Among them is a chest with a sword hilt in it. Bring it to me, and do not dawdle with it: the thing is rotting in your hands as you carry it.

Sword Hilt: /pos 1768, 2053, 11

18:52 Aldrenn the Unbroken: You are carrying it, CM Gabr. Say sword hilt and let me see it.
18:52 CM Gabr [218]: sword hilt
18:52 Aldrenn the Unbroken: That is all that came back of Sir Veyan. Not the blade. The blade is still in Ghazbaran. Only the part his hand was closed around.
18:52 Aldrenn the Unbroken: The last one, and I will not pretend it is fair. The pit where the abyssal demons nest, the strongest things that walk in Lakeshire. Dragha's chest is down there, and Dragha's spellbook is inside it. Bring it to me, or do not come back at all.

Dragha's Spellbook: /pos 1804, 1988, 15

18:53 Aldrenn the Unbroken: You are carrying it, CM Gabr. Say Dragha's spellbook and let me see it.
18:53 CM Gabr [218]: dragha's spellbook
18:53 Aldrenn the Unbroken: Dragha wrote the words that hold the seal shut. She was the last of them to die, because she had to be. Somebody had to finish speaking.
18:53 Aldrenn the Unbroken: The claw, the axe, the hilt and the book. Four kinds of power, and you did not fail one of them. I have watched better men than you fail two.
18:53 Aldrenn the Unbroken: There is one more, and it is the only one that has ever actually stopped anybody. Lay one hundred gold ingots on the altar behind me and pull the lever.
18:53 Aldrenn the Unbroken: Not as payment. There is nobody here to pay. You will destroy them and get nothing back for it, and I will stand here and watch you decide whether you can.

100 gold ingots > pull the lever

18:56 The gold burns away on the altar without leaving so much as a stain. The door behind the guardian knows you now.

20:03 Aldrenn the Unbroken: The door is open to you, CM Gabr. Ask me about the ring if the seal is still refusing you.
20:03 CM Gabr [218]: ring
20:03 Aldrenn the Unbroken: The nose ring is somewhere in the minotaur city. It looks like nothing at all. That is deliberate.
20:03 Aldrenn the Unbroken: Bring it back to me and I will spend it on you. Then the field at the seal will part for you and it will keep parting, whatever you happen to be carrying that day.
20:05 Aldrenn the Unbroken: Go carefully.

Nose Ring: /pos 1374, 1866, 6

20:13 Aldrenn the Unbroken: You are carrying it, CM Gabr. Say nose ring and let me take it off your hands.
20:13 CM Gabr [218]: nose ring
20:13 Aldrenn the Unbroken: Give it here. And hold still, because this is going to feel like being read.
20:13 Aldrenn the Unbroken: There. The ring is gone, and it was never meant to be worn anyway. It was meant to be spent. What the magi put inside it is inside you now, and it does not come back out.
20:13 Aldrenn the Unbroken: The seal will know you by it for as long as you are alive to be known. Go. The field will part for you, and nothing you carry or drop will change that.
20:13 Aldrenn the Unbroken: What is on the other side is what took every champion this kingdom had. I am not going to pretend I expect to see you again.

Magic Field: /pos 1679, 1999, 8

Lakeshire Thistle

NPC: /pos 1555, 1757, 7

20:19 Kaelen looks at you. Nothing behind it moves. His hands are folded in a way hands are not supposed to fold.

20:19 Thistle: You stopped. People do not stop, CM Gabr. They see an old rabbit and a man who does not move and they keep walking. Ask me about him, since he cannot tell you himself.
20:19 CM Gabr [218]: him
20:19 Thistle: His name is Kaelen. Was. He does not answer to it now, but I keep saying it out loud because somebody has to.
20:19 Thistle: He was the best sword this kingdom ever put in a field. Not one of the best. The best, and everyone knew it, which is the entire problem.
20:19 Thistle: That is the only reason he is still breathing, and it is a horrible thing to have to explain to someone. Ask me what happened to him.
20:19 CM Gabr [218]: happened
20:19 Thistle: They knew what he was. So they did not wait for him down at the cave. They came for him first, before he ever got to stand in front of Ghazbaran at all.
20:20 Thistle: They took his memories out of him. Not damaged. Took. There was nothing left inside him to be afraid with, nothing left to be anybody with. They left a body with the lights off.
20:20 Thistle: And then, because that was not enough for them, they broke every bone he had. Slowly, and in an order. So that whatever grew back would never close around a hilt again. He heals. He just does not heal right.
20:20 Thistle: They did not destroy what they took, though. That is the part that keeps me sitting here. Ask me about the crystals.
20:20 CM Gabr [218]: crystals
20:20 Thistle: They kept it. Sealed his memory into four dark crystals and hid them across the world, each one behind something that wanted it left alone.
20:20 Thistle: Break a crystal and what is inside goes back where it came from. I have watched it happen once. He blinked. That was all he did, and I cried for an hour.
20:20 Thistle: Four of them. You have broken 0. Whatever is guarding them will not let you walk away halfway through, so do not go if you are not going.

Barkless Devotee: /pos 1676, 2254, 6
00:13 The crystal opens and closes around you. Seven waves of the Barkless, seven paces of ground, and no way out that is not through them.
00:13 The crystal will not let you walk away from this. Not until it is finished.
00:15 The crystal comes apart. Something that was not yours goes through you and is gone: a prayer said over a body that was still warm.

Crownguard Warden: /pos 1509, 1989, 12
00:18 The crystal opens and closes around you. Seven waves of the Crownguard, seven paces of ground, and no way out that is not through them.
00:13 The crystal will not let you walk away from this. Not until it is finished.
00:15 The crystal comes apart. Something that was not yours goes through you and is gone: a prayer said over a body that was still warm.

Gorehide Warchief: /pos 1672, 1858, 11
00:41 The crystal opens and closes around you. Seven waves of the Gorehide, seven paces of ground, and no way out that is not through them.
00:13 The crystal will not let you walk away from this. Not until it is finished.
00:43 The crystal comes apart. Something that was not yours goes through you and is gone: the road down. The one nobody else walked back from.

Ice Arcanomaster: /pos 2024, 2008, 5
00:49 The crystal opens and closes around you. Seven waves of the arcanomasters, seven paces of ground, and no way out that is not through them.
00:13 The crystal will not let you walk away from this. Not until it is finished.
00:51 The crystal comes apart. Something that was not yours goes through you and is gone: a winter that never reached the kingdom.

00:52 CM Gabr [218]: hi
00:52 Thistle: All four. CM Gabr, come here. Come HERE. Ask me about the road and stand where he can see you.
00:52 CM Gabr [218]: road
00:52 Thistle: Kaelen. Kaelen, look at them. They went and got it. All of it.
00:52 Kaelen the Broken: ...the water. Go under the water at the seal, and keep going down past where the light gives up. It is not a cave. It never was a cave.
00:52 Thistle: That is his voice. I have sat beside him for longer than your family has had a name to be called by, and I had never once heard his voice.
00:52 Thistle: He put something in your hand while he said it. That door does not open for one offering, it opens for two. Ask me about the second one when you have your breath back.
00:53 CM Gabr [218]: second
00:53 Thistle: That door does not open for one offering. It opens for two, and the second one is not given to anybody. It has to be made, and it is made out of gold.
00:53 Thistle: A thousand million of it. And do not look at me like that, because I did not set the price and nobody did.
00:53 Thistle: When you push magic into gold, the gold fights it. Almost all of it burns off before anything takes hold, and what comes out at the far end is barely a handful. You are not paying for the handful. You are paying for everything that has to be destroyed to leave it behind.
19:24 Thistle: So. A thousand million gold, from your hands or from your bank, and I will make it. Do you want it?
19:24 CM Gabr [218]: yes
19:24 Thistle: Hold it. It is warm, and it will stay warm for a while.
19:24 Thistle: Now go and put both of them on the altars. Either one on either stone, it does not care which. Then the lever.

Sacrifice Altars: /pos 1577, 1623, 8







19:39 Both offerings burn down to nothing at the same instant. Whatever was holding that door shut lets go of it.

Solari Island Nassir

22:06 CM Gabr [218]: hi
22:13 Nasir al-Rammal: Come in, CM Gabr, and mind the sand - it comes in with everyone and it never leaves.
22:13 Nasir al-Rammal: I am Nasir al-Rammal. I have been drawing this desert since before your parents met, and I have not finished it once.
22:13 Nasir al-Rammal: If you have come to buy a map, I have none. If you have come to help me make one, ask me about the mission.
22:13 CM Gabr [218]: mission
22:13 Nasir al-Rammal: You want work. I have none to give, and one thing to ask, which is worse.
22:13 Nasir al-Rammal: Fifty years I have been making one map. I finish it, and the desert edits me. A storm buries a road. A dune uncovers a stair. I redraw, and it edits me again.
22:13 Nasir al-Rammal: The old ones knew a way to hold this place still in the mind. I am certain of it. Whatever it was, it did not survive them.
22:13 Nasir al-Rammal: A map cannot be bought, and it cannot be copied. It must be built by walking. Every stone, every ruin, every oasis seen with your own eyes.
22:13 Nasir al-Rammal: My eyes are done walking. Would you lend me yours? Say yes and I will give you my cartographic map.
22:13 CM Gabr [218]: yes
22:13 Nasir al-Rammal: Then take this. Brass rings, a sighting arm, and my father's initials on the underside.
22:13 Nasir al-Rammal: Eight places. Stand in each one and use the cartographic map. It will tell me what it sees; you need bring me nothing but yourself.
22:13 Nasir al-Rammal: Some of them will not answer at the first asking. Do not force them. Look at what is around you and ask again properly.
22:13 Nasir al-Rammal: Say survey whenever you wish to see how much of the chart still lies blank. Go carefully. I have waited fifty years; I can wait a season more.
22:13 CM Gabr [218]: survey
22:13 Nasir al-Rammal: You have 0 of the eight. Sit, and I will tell you what I know of what is left.
22:13 Nasir al-Rammal: Or do not sit. You are young and the light is good. I only ever sat because my knees insisted.

THE SURVEY OF THE SHIFTING SANDS
kept by Nasir al-Rammal, cartographer

[ ] The Sunken Caravan
      Just beyond the city walls, where the mountain pass buries the forgotten trade route.
[ ] The Oasis of a Thousand Reflections
      Still water, south-west of the caravan. It only speaks after sundown.
[ ] The Great Pyramid
      The great pyramid at the heart of the desert, where mountains rise like silent guardians.
[ ] The Buried Library of Al-Rammal
      Beyond the winding underground passages, where waterfalls echo through the stone.
[ ] The Tomb of the Last Sun-King
      Deep beneath Shattered Sands Depot lies a forgotten necropolis. Among countless coffins, only one belongs to the Last Sun-King.
[ ] The Broken Span
      Cross the abandoned observatory and follow the southern bridge, where dragons keep watch over the canyon.
[ ] The Temple of the First Sun
      The ruined temple atop the eastern mountain, where Nightstalkers and Gozzlers now roam. It answers only under an open sun.
[ ] The Iron Bastion
      The ancient metal structure standing alone in the desert, untouched by time.

Surveyed: 0 of 8.

The Sunken Caravan
/pos 
...

The Oasis of a Thousand Reflections
/pos 
...

The Great Pyramid
/pos 626, 159, 7
22:21 The cartographic map wants a sighting to the north.
22:21 Sighting 1 of 3 locked. Now face west.
22:21 Sighting 2 of 3 locked. Now face south.
22:21 As the cartographic map aligns with each face, every edge points beyond the pyramid itself. The surrounding peaks complete a pattern too precise to be natural, as though the monument was built in answer to the mountains rather than upon them.
22:21 Discovery recorded: The Great Pyramid. (2/8)

The Buried Library of Al-Rammal
/pos 
...

The Tomb of the Last Sun-King
/pos 527, 177, 9
22:17 The cartographic map locks onto the tomb and begins a slow reading. Stay within these walls for 45 seconds.
22:17 The reading is already under way. Hold your ground.
22:18 The cartographic map falls silent before a single coffin. At once, spectres emerge from the darkness, ignoring every other tomb as they gather around the king's resting place. Whatever they guard, they have guarded it for centuries.
22:18 Discovery recorded: The Tomb of the Last Sun-King. (1/8)

The Broken Span
/pos 
...

The Temple of the First Sun
/pos 714, 253, 6
22:49 You raise the cartographic map and the light does the rest: a single beam slips through the shattered halls, finding a path carved long ago. It lands upon a weathered mark in the floor, not at the temple's centre, but exactly where its builders intended.
22:49 Discovery recorded: The Temple of the First Sun. (4/8)

The Iron Bastion
/pos 476, 203, 7
22:38 The cartographic map finds no weakness in its frame. Every beam, every joint, every plate remains exactly where it should be, as though centuries of sandstorms and earthquakes had simply passed around it instead of through it.
22:38 Discovery recorded: The Iron Bastion. (3/8)

Foolarious Quest

/goto Foolarious

• 25 eggs
• 10 cheese
• 5 honeycombs
• 10 fire mushrooms
• 1000 demonic essence

21:33 CM Gabr [218]: hi
21:33 Foolarious: Ah, a customer! I remember customers. Ask me about work if you have a moment. Ask me about my job to hear what I need, or say ingredients if you already know the list. Say topics to hear what else I can talk about.
21:33 CM Gabr [218]: work
21:33 Foolarious: Work? WORK? My friend, I am preparing the greatest cake this kingdom has ever seen.
21:33 Foolarious: Well. It WOULD have been the greatest cake.
21:33 Foolarious: If these premium imported ovens actually worked.
21:33 Foolarious: I bought them from a very famous kingdom far from here. Expert engineering, they said. Built by professionals.
21:33 Foolarious: They looked incredible in the brochure. In hindsight, the brochure was the best part.
21:33 Foolarious: Since they arrived my bread has exploded, my dough refuses to rise, and my last wedding cake left a crater you could keep fish in.
21:33 Foolarious: But I have not given up! I simply need someone to fetch the ingredients while I supervise the fire.
21:33 Foolarious: Do that, and the jester's own staff is yours. It came with the ovens, and it is the only part that has never once caught fire.
21:34 Foolarious: Say ingredients whenever you are ready to hear the exact list.
21:34 CM Gabr [218]: ingredients
21:34 Foolarious: I require 25 eggs, 10 cheese, 5 honeycombs, 10 fire mushrooms, 1000 demonic essence.
21:34 Foolarious: Since the ovens refuse to produce heat, the ingredients will have to bring their own. Hence the mushrooms.
21:34 Foolarious: The cheese is because I no longer trust liquids. The essence is a premium vanilla substitute imported, like my ovens. Let us hope for better results.
21:34 Foolarious: Do you have them all?
21:34 CM Gabr [218]: topics
21:34 Foolarious: You could ask me about the ovens, the brochure, the salesman, my business, my competitors, the smoke, my name, or the staff.
21:34 CM Gabr [218]: ovens
21:34 Foolarious: Ah, the ovens! Premium equipment. Professional craftsmanship. Expert engineering.
21:34 Foolarious: Every word of that came from the brochure, so it must be true.
21:34 Foolarious: They arrived in eleven crates. Twelve, if you count the crate of apologies.
21:34 Foolarious: The manual runs to four hundred pages. Page one says 'do not stand close'. It is the only page I have needed.
21:34 Foolarious: They do not heat. Then they do not stop heating. Occasionally both at once, which the manual does not cover.
21:34 Foolarious: But they are not faulty, you understand. They are simply... ambitious.
21:35 CM Gabr [218]: brochure
21:35 Foolarious: Oh, the brochure was magnificent. Glossy. Illustrated. Utterly convincing.
21:35 Foolarious: It showed a golden kitchen, a queue of customers, and a baker who looked exactly like me but happier.
21:35 Foolarious: It used the words 'flawless', 'premium' and 'industry-leading' fourteen times.
21:35 Foolarious: It used the word 'refund' never.
21:35 Foolarious: Honestly? The brochure was the finest thing they ever produced.
21:35 CM Gabr [218]: salesman
21:35 Foolarious: A charming man. Very confident. He spoke beautifully about quality.
21:35 Foolarious: He promised perfection, a lifetime warranty, and personal support at any hour of the day.
21:35 Foolarious: He was gone within the month. So was the warranty. So, curiously, was the workshop.
21:35 Foolarious: I have written to him eleven times. The letters come back smelling faintly of smoke, which I choose to take as a reply.
21:35 Foolarious: I suppose advertising is a great deal easier than baking.
21:35 CM Gabr [218]: business
21:35 Foolarious: My bakery is experiencing a slight and entirely temporary decline in customers.
21:35 Foolarious: I am aware of the explosions. And the smoke. And the incident with the wedding cake.
21:35 Foolarious: But these are known issues, CM Gabr, and a known issue is practically a fixed issue.
21:35 Foolarious: I am very close to a nearly bug-free kitchen. Nearly. Close. Very.
21:35 Foolarious: Once everything is stable I shall resume advertising, and they will flood back in. All of them. At once.
21:35 Foolarious: Through that door. Which I should probably repair first.
21:35 Foolarious: Every day the ovens grow more stable. Only three explosions this morning; yesterday there were four.
21:35 Foolarious: I have learned a great deal from all this. Mostly about fire.
21:35 CM Gabr [218]: competitors
21:35 Foolarious: The other bakeries? Please. My establishment is obviously superior.
21:35 Foolarious: ...at least according to my advertisements, which I wrote myself, and which I stand by.
21:35 Foolarious: There is a bakery across the lake that people seem to enjoy. I cannot imagine why.
21:35 Foolarious: Their bread is objectively inferior. I have said so many times. Loudly. In the street.
21:35 Foolarious: They have queues, admittedly. Long ones. But a queue is merely a crowd that has not been disappointed yet.
21:35 Foolarious: Give it time. Their ovens will betray them too. Ovens betray everyone. That is simply what ovens do.
21:35 CM Gabr [218]: smoke
21:35 Foolarious: The smoke? Cosmetic. Purely cosmetic.
21:35 Foolarious: A premium oven produces premium smoke. It says so on the crate, in small print, which I read afterwards.
21:35 Foolarious: I have grown rather fond of it, actually. It hides the ceiling.
21:36 CM Gabr [218]: name
21:36 Foolarious: Foolarious! Master Baker. Certified owner of premium imported ovens. Award-winning.
21:36 Foolarious: The award was presented by me, to me, in a small ceremony. It was very moving.
21:36 Foolarious: You may address me as Master Foolarious. Or simply Master. Or, if you must, 'the one with the burning hat'.
21:36 CM Gabr [218]: staff
21:36 Foolarious: The jester's staff? It came bundled with the ovens. A 'complimentary gift for the discerning professional'.
21:36 Foolarious: I have never understood it. Why would an oven salesman include a jester's staff?
21:36 Foolarious: ...I have thought about that question a great deal recently.
21:36 Foolarious: In any case, it is yours if you help me bake. It is the only object in this building that has never caught fire.

12:46 CM Gabr [219]: hi
12:46 Foolarious: A master baker never blames himself. That is what ovens are for. Ask about my job, say ingredients, or say topics.
12:46 CM Gabr [219]: ingredients
12:46 Foolarious: I require 25 eggs, 10 cheese, 5 honeycombs, 10 fire mushrooms, 1000 demonic essence.
12:46 Foolarious: Since the ovens refuse to produce heat, the ingredients will have to bring their own. Hence the mushrooms.
12:46 Foolarious: The cheese is because I no longer trust liquids. The essence is a premium vanilla substitute, imported like my ovens. Let us hope for better results.
12:46 CM Gabr [219]: yes
12:46 Foolarious: Perfect! Absolutely perfect. Now we wait.
12:46 Foolarious: Hopefully the oven survives. It usually does. Define 'usually'.
12:46 Foolarious: Come back in about an hour and ask about the cake, CM Gabr. Or sooner, if you hear a bang from outside.
12:46 CM Gabr [219]: cake
12:46 Foolarious: Patience! Great things take an hour. Terrible things take four minutes. Come back later and ask about the cake.
12:53 Foolarious: It is still baking. Or exploding. From in here the two sound identical. Come back later and ask about the cake.
12:53 Foolarious: I heard a bang a moment ago. That is usually a good sign. Come back later and ask about the cake.
12:53 Foolarious: Can you smell burning? Then it is working. Probably. Come back later and ask about the cake.
12:53 Foolarious: It is in there. Something is in there. Come back later and ask about the cake.
12:53 Foolarious: I would check on it, but the handle is too hot to touch. A premium feature, apparently. Come back later and ask about the cake.
12:54 Foolarious: Still baking. I have not looked. Looking makes it worse. Come back later and ask about the cake.

18:25 CM Gabr [219]: hi
18:25 Foolarious: CM Gabr! You are just in time. Something has happened in the oven. Ask me about the cake at once!
18:25 CM Gabr [219]: cake
18:25 Foolarious: It worked. It ACTUALLY worked.
18:25 Foolarious: I do not believe it. Come and look, CM Gabr, it has corners! Deliberate ones!
18:25 Foolarious: Remarkable. Perhaps the ingredients were of unusual quality.
18:25 Foolarious: It certainly was not the cooking. The cooking has always been excellent.
18:25 Foolarious: Here, take the staff, exactly as promised. Handle it carefully; it is the only survivor.
18:25 Foolarious: And do tell your friends the bakery is back. I shall begin advertising immediately.

18:25 You have received a jester staff. Against every expectation, including his own.

Devastado Quest

21:43 CM Gabr [218]: hi
21:43 Devastado: A FACE! A living, breathing, potentially LAUGHING face! Welcome to my theatre, CM Gabr, mind the trapdoor. There is no trapdoor. That was the joke. You did not laugh. Nobody ever does. Ask me about my tragedy.
21:43 CM Gabr [218]: tragedy
21:43 Devastado: Sit down. No, STAND. It is more dramatic if you stand.
21:43 Devastado: I was DEVASTADO. THE Devastado! I filled theatres from here to the far coast. Kings paid me in gold. Children paid me in laughter, which is the better currency.
21:44 Devastado: And then one evening... nothing. Five hundred people in this hall, and not one sound. Not a giggle. Not a snort. Not even a polite cough.
21:44 Devastado: Someone STOLE the laughter of this realm. I am certain of it. My wife says my jokes simply got old. My wife is not a scientist.
21:44 Devastado: And a Jester Hat only holds its magic while laughter still exists. Mine has been an ordinary hat for eleven years. ELEVEN YEARS.
21:44 Devastado: But laughter can be gathered again. Ask me about the laughter, and I will tell you what nobody else has the courage to.
21:44 CM Gabr [218]: laughter
21:44 Devastado: Not all laughter is the same! This is the great secret, and I am giving it to you for free, which shows you how desperate I am.
21:44 Devastado: Every creature laughs in its own flavour. No, do not taste them. I know what I said. Do not taste them.
21:44 Devastado: A goblin giggles like a small crime. An orc laughs like a door being kicked in. A witch cackles like she has read your diary.
21:44 Devastado: Each one carries a crumb of magic. Gather enough different kinds, and my hat will remember what it is for.
21:44 Devastado: I would go myself, but my knees retired before I did. Will you go? Ask me for the mission.
21:44 CM Gabr [218]: mission
21:44 Devastado: You will need my Crystal Laugh Flask. I blew the glass myself. With my mouth. That is how glass works, I am reliably told.
21:44 Devastado: Find the right creatures, get close... CLOSE, not 'brave adventurer' close and use the flask on them.
21:44 Devastado: You do not have to kill anything. In fact, please do not. A dead thing has terrible comic timing.
21:44 Devastado: So? Will you go and collect the laughter of the world for a broken old man? Say yes.
21:44 CM Gabr [218]: yes
21:44 Devastado: TAKE IT! Take it, go, run!
21:44 Devastado: And remember, above all else: never trust a silent goblin.

• Goblin
• Witch
• Orc Berserker
• Hyaena
• Demon
• Banshee
• Elf
• Dragon
• Hydra
• Drugged Beggar
• Mad Scientist
• Grim Reaper
• Medusa
• Guzzlemaw
• Hellhound
• Draken Abomination
• Pirate Corsair
• Monk

22:48 The bottle is full. Every kind of laughter in the world is arguing inside it. Return to Devastado.

22:49 Devastado: STOP. Do not move. Do not breathe. That flask is FULL, CM Gabr, I can hear it from here and it is being extremely rude. Say ceremony and let us finish this.
22:49 CM Gabr [218]: ceremony
22:49 Devastado: Then we begin. Stand there. No, THERE. On the mark. There is no mark. Improvise!
22:49 Devastado: Ladies! Gentlemen! Creatures of ambiguous classification! For one night only...!
22:49 Devastado: Are you ready? Say yes, and I will open the flask.
22:49 CM Gabr [218]: yes
22:49 Devastado: *uncorks the flask*
22:49 Devastado: There! Do you HEAR it? A goblin giggle, arguing with an infernal laugh, in MY theatre!
22:49 Devastado: A hydra laughing at a joke its other heads have not finished telling!
22:49 Devastado: A dragon roaring so hard it burns down half a castle, that truly happened, by the way. I sent flowers.
22:49 Devastado: And now... the joke. The old one. The one that stopped working eleven years ago.
22:49 Devastado: A skeleton walks into a tavern and orders a beer... and a mop.
22:49 Devastado: ...
22:50 Devastado: You are LAUGHING. CM Gabr, you are LAUGHING!
22:50 Retired Warlock: My hat! It is WARM! It is RIDICULOUS again! Take it, I mean it, take it. I have eleven more.
22:50 Retired Warlock: Go on. Wear it badly. That is the only correct way to wear it.
22:51 Devastado: Go! Be funny somewhere! Someone has to!

22:50 You have received the jester hat, its magic reborn from the laughter you gathered.

Melitta Quest

11:11 CM Gabr [219]: hi
11:11 Mellita: Be welcome. Step softly; the blossoms by your feet are working.
11:11 Mellita: Every flower begins with a bee... and every hive begins with trust.
11:11 Mellita: Something is breaking that trust, and I am too old to walk to where it is breaking. Ask me about the blend.
11:12 CM Gabr [219]: blend
11:12 Mellita: There is a recipe. The Royal Honey Blend. My mother called it the apology we owe the hives.
11:12 Mellita: It was used to strengthen a colony that had lost its way, and to remind the wasps and the bees that they are neighbours.
11:12 Mellita: I can prepare it. But it needs ingredients of a purity I can no longer walk far enough to gather.
11:12 Mellita: Would you gather them for me? yes or no.
11:12 CM Gabr [219]: yes
11:12 Mellita: Thank you. I did not want to ask, and I am glad I did.
11:12 Mellita: The blend needs: 35 honeycombs, 5 flasks of wasp poison, 1 sample of sand wasp honey, 10 samples from the (golden) royal blossoms.
11:12 Mellita: Take these 5 flasks for the venom.
11:12 Mellita: Draw it from a waspoid that has just fallen, and be quick; the venom does not keep. Never from one still living.
11:12 Mellita: The royal blossoms are yours to find: they grow on the northern slopes of Dry Creek and around Lakeshire. Touch one, do not pick it, and it will remember you.
11:12 Mellita: And go to the cemetery of Dry Creek for the sample of sand wasp honey. There is an old hive among the stones, and it is not as empty as people think.
11:12 Mellita: That one keeps itself: it goes straight to your store inbox, so do not go hunting through your bag for it.
11:12 Mellita: Come back when you have it all. Ask me about the ingredients if you lose count. Nature never hurries.
11:12 CM Gabr [219]: blossoms
11:12 Mellita: You have touched 0 of the (golden) royal blossoms. Ten is enough; there are 11 in all, so a little wandering is allowed.
11:12 Mellita: Walk the northern slopes above Dry Creek, and the streets and gardens of Lakeshire.
11:12 Mellita: You will know a (golden) royal blossom when you see one. Simply reach out and touch it. Do not pull it from the earth; it has done nothing to deserve that.
11:12 CM Gabr [219]: cemetery
11:12 Mellita: The cemetery of Dry Creek. There is a hive there that everyone has forgotten.
11:12 Mellita: It emptied when the blossoms went quiet, and something else moved in: sand wasps, born from the dry earth itself.
11:12 Mellita: I do not resent them for it. An abandoned hive is an invitation, and they simply answered the call.
11:12 Mellita: Their honey is unlike any other; thick, golden, and infused with the essence of the desert flowers they gather from.
11:12 Mellita: I need a small sample of it for my blend.
11:12 Mellita: Approach the hive carefully and remain still while the wasps accept your presence. Leave too soon, and you will have to begin again.
11:12 Mellita: When you've gathered the sample, it will be safely stored in your Store Inbox, where it cannot be spilled, lost, or stolen.
11:12 CM Gabr [219]: ingredients
11:12 Mellita: The blend needs: 35 honeycombs, 5 flasks of wasp poison, 1 sample of sand wasp honey, 10 samples from the (golden) royal blossoms.
11:12 Mellita: You still lack: 0 of 35 honeycombs, 0 of 5 flasks of wasp poison, 0 of 1 sample of sand wasp honey, 0 of 10 royal blossom samples.
11:12 Mellita: The royal blossoms grow on the northern slopes of Dry Creek and around Lakeshire. Touch one and it will remember you; you need not pick it.
11:12 Mellita: For the sample of sand wasp honey, go to the cemetery of Dry Creek. Something still lives in the old hive there.
11:12 Mellita: And the venom goes in the flasks I gave you. The sweetest honey often comes after the longest season, child.r the longest season, child.

Royal Blossoms:
11:25 You gather a trace of golden pollen from the royal blossom. (1/10 samples gathered, 11 blossoms in total)
Drycreek /pos 417, 409, 5
Drycreek /pos 409, 407, 5
Drycreek /pos 404, 408, 5
Drycreek /pos 404, 408, 5
Lakeshire /pos 1184, 1398, 7
Lakeshire /pos 1189, 1389, 7
Lakeshire /pos 1184, 1386, 7
Lakeshire /pos 1196, 1380, 7
Lakeshire /pos 1287, 1456, 7
Lakeshire /pos 1276, 1457, 7

Sand Wasp Honey:
Drycreek /pos 573, 598, 7

Sample of Wasp Honey:
Use flask in any Waspoid corpse

Honeycomb:
Loot from Wasps and Bears

12:37 Mellita: You have it all. Every last thing. Shall I begin? yes or no.
12:38 CM Gabr [219]: yes
12:38 Mellita: Then let us begin. Sit. This takes as long as it takes.
12:38 Mellita: The wax first, warmed until it forgets it was ever solid.
12:38 Mellita: Now the (golden) royal blossom pollen... slowly, a little at a time. Look at that color, bright as molten gold. No wonder the bees treasure it so dearly.
12:38 Mellita: And the venom. Yes. Every poison can become a medicine, if you understand what it was defending.
12:38 Mellita: ...
12:38 Mellita: No.
12:38 Mellita: The recipe is perfect.
12:38 Mellita: The ingredients are perfect.
12:38 Mellita: So what is missing?
12:38 Mellita: Ask me about the tradition, child. I think I have been a fool for a very long time.
12:38 CM Gabr [219]: tradition
12:38 Mellita: The Royal Honey Blend was never made in a laboratory.
12:38 Mellita: Not in a kitchen. Not by alchemists, whatever they write in their books.
12:38 Mellita: It had to be ACCEPTED. By a living hive. Only then did it wake up.
12:38 Mellita: You saw what is left of the one in the cemetery. That is what happens when nobody asks.
12:38 Mellita: My hives are three steps from where you are standing, and they have been listening to us this whole time.
12:38 Mellita: Here. Hold out your hands, and do not move them.
12:38 Mellita: ...
12:38 Mellita: Now stand very still, and do not reach for a weapon, whatever arrives.
12:38 Mellita: Do you understand now?
12:38 Mellita: I did not choose you...
12:38 Mellita: The hive did.
12:40 Mellita: Go gently, CM Gabr. The flowers will remember you before I do.

12:38 Something changes in the light. The air fills with a low, warm sound.
12:38 Bees. Dozens of them, from the flowers, from the roof, from the hives.
12:38 They surround you completely. Not one of them stings.
12:38 They settle on your shoulders. On your hands. On your hair. As if looking at you.
12:38 The swarm rises as one, and scatters slowly among the flowers.
12:38 The hive has accepted you. You have acquired the addons fo the Beekeeper outfit.

Madara Quest (Moth Cape Addons)

12:22 CM Gabr [219]: hi
12:22 Madara: Be welcome, CM Gabr. I keep the flame that the restless follow. Ask me about the ritual if you're ready, or the story of how they came to be lost.
12:22 CM Gabr [219]: story
12:23 Madara: Long before the miners ever set foot here, the tourmaline caves were a nursery -- moth, spider, and eater alike, born of crystal and shadow, bound to veins of light beneath the stone. When the deeper tunnels collapsed, the paths home were buried with them. Most of the creatures eventually adapted to the darkness, but three never did. They became forever bound to the last sacred flame they had witnessed, its lingering glow trapped within their very essence. Even now, a faint radiance surrounds them, setting them apart from every other creature of their kind. Those are the Torchbound, the lost ones. Blind in the dark, they wander endlessly, drawn to every flicker of fire they can sense, believing it will lead them home. I have kept this vigil for longer than I care to count, but my own light has grown too faint to walk those tunnels myself. If you are willing to finish what I no longer can, ask me about the ritual.
12:23 CM Gabr [219]: ritual
12:23 Madara: Take up this magical torch, and its light will reach where mine no longer can. When you draw close enough to one of the lost three, it will see the flame and trust it, it will follow you, so long as the light holds. Guide each of them to its resting place deep in the caves before the flame dies, and I will send you guidance as you walk. But heed this above all, if the torch ever leaves your hand, for any reason, its light fades from their sight, and the ritual breaks at once. Do you accept?
12:23 CM Gabr [219]: yes
12:23 Madara: It is done, the flame is yours now. Do not stray far from them, and do not move the torch from your hand for any reason, for its light is the only thing keeping them near. Walk swiftly; the fire will not burn forever.

Torchbound Moth (-1): /pos 3482, 1456, 8
Torchbound Spider (-2): /pos 
Torchbound Eater: /pos 
Stay close and lure them to where the compass leads you.
13:26 All three have arrived. Return to the ritual keeper to claim your reward.
Torch has 15 minutes of cooldown once you get it, and 5 minute after it runs out of time.

13:26 Madara: Be welcome, CM Gabr. I keep the flame that the restless follow. Ask me about the ritual if you're ready, or the story of how they came to be lost.
13:26 CM Gabr [219]: ritual
13:26 Madara: The spirits rest again, CM Gabr, and their memory will not forget your kindness. Wear this light as your own.

Eggs Hunt

/pos 5531, 5096, 6

/pos 5559, 5060, 7

1 Drycreek /pos 342, 456, 7
2 Drycreek /pos 405, 403, 7
3 Drycreek /pos 467, 572, 14
4 Drycreek /pos 341, 595, 8
5 Drycreek /pos 482, 606, 12
6 Greenvile /pos 597, 574, 7
7 Greenvile /pos 713, 610, 9
8 Dry Creek /pos 295, 992, 9
9 Dry Creek /pos 529, 780, 7
10 Greenvile /pos 529, 833, 12
11 Nevada /pos 1083, 552, 7
12 Nevada /pos 1407, 498, 7
13 Nevada /pos 1352, 524, 5
14 Nevada /pos 1868, 710, 10
15 Nevada /pos 1085, 292, 7
16 Lakeshire /pos 1229, 1356, 7
17 Lakeshire /pos 1270, 1609, 8
18 Lakeshire /pos 1051, 1583, 9
19 Lakeshire /pos 1370, 1349, 7
20 Lakeshire /pos 1708, 1336, 3
21 Aurora /pos 5638, 5486, 7
22 Aurora /pos 5381, 5179, 10
23 Aurora /pos 5849, 5506, 10
24 Aurora /pos 5751, 5627, 12
25 Aurora /pos 5820, 5605, 13
26 Aurora /pos 5685, 5827, 7
27 Aurora /pos 5911, 5706, 8
28 Aurora /pos 6095, 5706, 7
29 Aurora /pos 5976, 5791, 11
30 Aurora /pos 6266, 5485, 4

21:34 You have destroyed every egg.
Return to the ritual basin to claim your reward.

21:37 You have acquired the addons for the Entrepreneur outfit.